Gamera Guardian of the Universe Issue #2
Well. Well. Here’s another shit blistering issue of Gamera and right away what do we have?
Wow. What a catty subtitle...
The issue begins with Lutz the washed up pilot from the previous issue still fleeing from the ensuing monster battle in Tokyo while leaving a teenaged girl behind. But before you write him off he does go back and rescue her. Cut to this shot of the monsters fighting…
And no there's no lead in to the word wreckoning or anything... I guess it's supposed to be a sound effect?
So following the “wreckoning”, Asagi telepathically informs Gamera of a nearby tanker. Gamera then throws Gyoas into the tanker and shoots a fireball at it, burning Gyaos to death in intense flames, and leaking the tanker’s contents polluting the ocean for decades. And everybody blames the oil companies?
Proving to be a further asshole Lutz steals Asagi’s amulet (her key to controlling Gamera) in an attempt to lift her burden. However what he doesn’t know is that Gamera is the friend to all children and not to unlikable middle age characters that weren’t from the movie and are clearly just thrown in for padding. I hate this guy…
Meanwhile Greta Karbone (great name) is still trying to persuade Mayumi into helping her to create an army of controllable super monsters in what I hope is Bela Lugosi inspired madness. When she refuses they opt to execute her. However while they prepare, Mayumi gets to find out what Greta’s glorious origin consists of before she dies…
Greta’s husband Gusano explains that Greta came from Mexico as a scientist. They met in a club where they both fell in love and immediately began working together in a lab on a squid like creature called “Viras”, who ultimately commands her attention greater than he does. He is aware of this and is saddened by the fact that he’s losing his love to their research.
However Mayumi being as bored with this as I am had opened up an oxygen tank and waited for the right moment to fire a flare at it… consuming them both in a fiery explosion even after she convinced him that she was willing to cooperate and would have a much better window of escape shortly after…
Genius plan. Just genius...
But naturally they both survive. Gusano takes off with Greta rescuing Viras from the now crumbling lab while Mayumi (completely unscathed) sneaks off and escapes. Of course they just assume that she died despite they themselves escaping with relative ease and with no injuries whatsoever… They strap Viras to a sub and leave.
Back to idiot Lutz who is now stranded in the middle of the ocean because he didn’t figure his plane would run out of fuel and is now left screaming into the amulet for help while he sinks to his death. Nice knowing you moron.
Oh but no! He survives and is recovered by a ship owned by the French Navy who promptly arrest him assuming he is part of an environmentalist faction out to stop their nuclear tests… ooookay. This comic isn’t about a giant turtle anymore.
Ok. Ce que la baise est cette merde?!
What follows is some captions bubbles in french (like I care) and some underwater nuclear explosions. Which awakens the shrimp like monster Zigra, which then begins tearing the ship apart, freeing all the prisoners and forcing everybody into a firefight on the dock.
Lutz finally realizes that Gamera will not respond to him with the amulet but coincidentally he shows up anyway. Gamera and Zigra begin duking it out over the Ocean when suddenly Gamera is knocked out and begins sinking.
And as if the french captions weren’t enough we then cut to some Alien bitch (with irrationally spaced tits) in a spacecraft talking in a language made up for the comic book (there’s even a translation guide in the back). And no I’m not translating it as I have no patience for this kind of bullshit. The guide even tells me to keep it handy for the next issue like they aren’t going to reprint it… Thanks but I’ll get by without it entirely assholes.
But I still found the accompanying text to be really funny…
