Don’t you know I’ll fuckin’ Cage you?

I wonder if Ed Goodman had anything to do with Conquest.

Well it’s another week and another mediocre episode of Mortal Kombat Legacy. Yeah, I’m just going to be upfront. This episode was boring. But I’ll talk about the good parts before I discuss the episode as a whole.

I liked who they cast as Johnny Cage even though he kinda looks like James Franco. The first minute and a half of this episode was also really funny with a documentary about Johnny Cage on television featuring the personalities of Victor Lucas on the set of Electric Playground and Ed freakin’ Boon. It was a really nice touch that I didn’t expect.

According to the documentary Johnny Cage’s was most known for his role in Power Rangers. Wait, Power Rangers?! So how long before Cage settles into doing gay porn?

Now when I heard that this episode was focusing on Johnny Cage instead of focusing on Jax and Sonya again I got really excited. Johnny Cage is one of my favorite MK characters. He’s just so cocky and arrogant he’s impossible not to love. Especially in the movie and in Mortal Kombat 9 where his character really got to shine. Plus he punches people in the balls.

Before I delve in though I have a quick complaint. This show starts out censored and then an uncensored version is released obviously to increase views. I don’t really care about that. The complaint is why do they censor words like ‘bitch’ but ‘pussy’ and ‘ho’ are fine? Anyways, I couldn’t really fit this anywhere else.

Your soul is mine ...?

So this whole episode focuses on Cage pitching some pilots to some television execs with most of the screen time being dedicated to the fake Johnny Cage fight scenes. The fight scenes are purposely unengaging with really bad music. It was kinda funny but also not exciting. The execs thought so too. At least in the Mortal Kombat movie the set that Johnny Cage was on in the beginning inspired curiosity. I wanted to see that movie, man.

Surprisingly there’s even less to say about this episode than the previous two. Up until the end where Johnny has a nervous breakdown and starts fighting guys in the television studio there really isn’t much happening. It’s another story that didn’t need eleven minutes dedicated to it, it’s only because of the web format that it does. At least with the last two episodes there was something happening and some stakes to be had. I stated multiple times that it wasn’t boring. This one was boring.

It’s really telling that this episode essentially tells the same story that Johnny Cage’s first scene in Mortal Kombat the movie tells. Only that one is more interesting, more slick, more subtle about Johnny’s career, and is much much shorter. This version really dragged.

Also the dude who plays Shang Tsung is questionable.

Now already this early on in the series were already running into timeline issues (at least I think). In the Rebirth trailer Johnny Cage fights a Jamaican Baraka and is killed. This is told to us by a Jax without cybernetic arms detailing a police case. In the ‘behind the scenes’ look at Mortal Kombat Legacy these chapters are described as the events leading up to the first Mortal Kombat tournament that these characters have been in. So Jax lost his arms before the first tournament specifically in episode 2, but I’m choosing to ignore that. Cage is drafted into the tournament at the end of this episode. So Jax telling us about Johnny Cage’s fight with Baraka would’ve had to have taken place… before episode 2? Meaning that Cage never fought in Mortal Kombat? Unless he died and got resurrected before Mortal Kombat 1. I guess I’ll just give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that Rebirth is not canonical. I wouldn’t even mind if it wasn’t canonical, because Baraka (my favorite character) looked like complete shit.

With the Mortal Kombat craze dying down and this series getting worse and worse I may have to stop commentating altogether. But we’ll see…